evolving,carnival roadtrip...

Friday, September 01, 2006


I just got a 24 pack of ultra, fine point Sharpie pens in every imaginable color on sale at Target.

-turquoise, caramel, periwinkle, pink and orange being my favorite.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Tampon Confessions

Today Hamster and I went shopping. School clothes, tampons, and a gum ball machine. I also got a black silk ,knee length jacket with beautiful pink and rose colored flowers embroidered on it. I need a place to wear it-who wants to go out Saturday night to the city?
Check the flickr badge cuz' I've finally downloaded new pictures.

Confessions of the day:

My house is filthy. I haven't really touched it since I've been back and don't intend to until the mood strikes me.

My kid is spoiled. Today a gumball machine. He actually bought it with his allowance money but still....we just got back from yet another vacation at grandmas. Need to explain more?
I let him watch Spy Kids I and II.

I ate In-and-Out burger for lunch.

I laid down for a short nap or as my Dad calls it -Reflecting.

I looked at and thought about buying a $300 purse.

Hamster tested some make-up at Target and I just put it back. Don't buy the stick concealer from Loreal in buff beige.

It's 4:39 and I just made iced coffee.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Family Farm

I've been back from the Family Farm for almost a week and just now found time to post. Never fear--- I'm getting my very own notebook that can travel with me from now on.

Hamster got sick within a few days of being there. I finally had to take him to the ER at 3 in the morning gasping for breath. Before the doctor even looked at him they gave him a neb treatment. So when the jerk doctor came and listened to his lungs AFTER the treatment he said his lung were clear and the cough sounded like croup. He's 6! Although there are cases of older children getting croup it's mostly in 3 or younger. I also stated this was Hamster's "typical" cough and not croup. After spending 4 minutes with us he gave us a RX for steroids. I didn't go to medical school but I thought there wasn't a medicine for croup. Dumb ass.

The day before we left we tried the twin peaks natural healer. His assistant is my mom's friend so we thought we would give it a try. Dr. Phil-yes that's his name lives in a Morten building in a small town. It's not really a town just a cluster of homes that once was a town. The building was full of dust, herbs, stacks of crap, paperwork and clutter beyond your wildest dreams. It would not have surprised me to see frog brains in jars and smoking test tubes. Out comes Dr. Phil in torn overalls, dirty and a toothy smile. He was jovial and I was trying to keep an open mind. I had my mom there and trusted her instincts. I also have learned enough life lessons not to judge a book by it's cover, judge people on how they look or judge health on mainstream ways.

He sat Hamster down to this electrical machine that had dials, wires and knobs. He proceeded to use this instrument that resembled a wood burner. You know the thing you etch wood with. Anyway, every time he would touch another finger joint the machine made a higher or lower pitched noise. Then to "balance his energy" Hamster held 2 metal cylinders while the machine went through another round of high and low pitched frequency noise. If my mom wasn't there or if his asst. Wasn't so normal looking I would have been long gone. Evidently he "cured" his assistants cancerous lymph nodes.
He handed me some familiar herbs, said his bronchial tubes were inflamed and his gut wasn't digesting protein properly. He also handed me some drops called Swamp Banksia to drop on his limbs and rub in.

My mom and I came home and quitey looked at each other -- I was thinking what was that?
I also thought about how desperate I was to make Hamster better, Badger's ordeal with Moomin in the hospital, and mothers in desperate situations all around the world regarding their children. I thought about how different one acts when one is desperate. I remember our sweet Vanna kitty when I first met her,homeless, hungry, pregnant and very skittish. How different from her true nature now that she is fed and loved and taken care of. The urban grit of the cities homeless isn't so scary to me anymore.

That's enough for now.....more Family Farm stories soon. Goodnight sweet friends.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Off to the Midwest for 2 1/2 weeks....
Oh sure Marge, you betcha.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

It's the witching hour and I'm so very tired. I'm tired of the heat. I'm tired of housework. I'm tired of taking care of Hamster. I'm tired of the traffic noise. Ugh! Oogie! Ugh! Whenever I get this way I try to turn it around by thinking of all the things I'm grateful for.

1. Last night Carlos and I took BART ( I just love public transportation) to the Mission for dinner and Rita's, then we walked to a friends house. I love walking in the city. It doesn't seem as gritty anymore and as long as I don't see child abuse or needles hanging out of anyone's arm I'm fine.

2. Badger took Hamster overnight. Besides being a great title for a book.....
Sleepovers are magical at this age and Hamster comes home with all kinds of tales.

3. I went to the salon and had my hair done. Nevermind I could have fed a family of 6, I'm grateful to have this luxury.

I can't think of anything else at the moment.

I'm rereading this post and thinking what a lame mom I am for saying --I'm tired of taking care of Hamster. It's just so exhausting to take care of someone else 24/7. But really it's the little things and it's not really the little things it's the relentlessness (is that even a word?)

For the 87th time do not park your scooter in the kitchen doorway.
Have you done the laundry chore?
Turn off the TV.
Brush your teeth.
Take your plate to the kitchen.
It's bath night.
Pick up your legos.
You spell salad S-A-L-A-D
I don't know if a sperm is the same size as a germ. (Followed by a further talk about "breeding", eggs, sperm, chickens, mommies, daddies, mommies and mommies, adoption, foster kids, breeding vs. adoption, how tigers do it and can I demo it----ending the discussion with what we started with and how it always starts-----I want to be a brother!)
Quit terrorizing the cat.
No we can't go to the park.

B gets home Friday.


Tuesday, July 25, 2006


3 more days until Biscuit gets home! Which is fantastic since I'm fried. Stick a fork in me I'm done. I would never make it as a single parent and all of you out there who are- WOW! You are amazing!

Yesterday we beat the heat at PJCC with Badger and Moomin. Read about here. Tonight Hamster has a sleepover there and I am just thrilled to have a moment to myself.

I just ordered these shoes. Don't you think they are soooooooooooooo groovy?

Out of the mouth of my babe-

Hamster- Mom I want to be a big brother --Can you and dad breed?

Me- Um...

Hamster- I'll stay in my room and you and dad can breed.

Me- Breeding is what animals do, having sex or making love is what humans do.

Hamster- Can we just call it breeding?

I think he's watched to much Animal Planet.

Friday, July 14, 2006


I've waited to long to post ...

Last week my dear friend of Gasp! 20 years came for a visit. Craig and I met when were 16! A lifetime ago. I dragged him to West Elm in Marin to check on some bedding, had coffee and dessert in North Beach, and he showed me the classic photo spot were you have the golden gate bridge and city behind you. We had so much fun and laughed our butts off.

On Wednesday Brian left for Tokyo. It was a sudden departure. He should be home in a few weeks.

This week some more guests arrived. Carlos, who was one of my bridesmaids, is here for a month. He only stayed one night with me but- he'll be back.
On Monday I went to pick up Seneca and the boys. We have only been friends for 3 years but we are super close. Even in the chaos with the kids we are still finding time to talk and vent and support each other. We are planning a trip to the beach, riding the BART to the city, and some water play in this dreaded heat we are having. I feel like I'm back in Austin.

The biggest news is : I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!
After 7 years of being a stay-at-home-mom I'm going back out...
It's a beautiful fit for me, our family and my career. It's at a place called Massage Envy.
I get to pick my own schedule, how long my shift is, breaks in between massages, and what days I work. It's also across the street from Biscuit's work and down the road from my gym. Finally I see long stretches of the day devoted only to me and my life. I'm so looking forward to this. It's been hard to navigate the waters of moving across the country, fighting depression, saving my marriage, raising Hamster and standing up for myself.


fish tacos